True, or half-true? Sort of true?

I heard a Roman Catholic apologist say that the Protestant Work Ethic was stolen from Roman Catholicism. This is why, he concluded, Roman Catholic countries tend to languish in low hygiene and backwardness.

The same apologist stated that all of J. S. Bach's compositions were actually composed by a Cardinal of the 16th century. He said the music then was so revolutionary it wasn't known what to make of it, and the Cardinal's advisers feared the strange works would affect his reputation, so the works were set aside until, it is believed, a German individual found them in the Vatican, and then they mysteriously started appearing in the 18th century and later as being composed by a J. S. Bach.

Another Roman Catholic apologist stated that John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress was plagiarized from a Dutch Roman Catholic work, then changed some to make it seem like a Protestant wrote it. This R. C. apologist recently committed suicide, not that that means anything.

Another Roman Catholic apologist who was recently found crying and saying everything is meaningless said that Rembrandt was not really a Calvinist, but was actually a Jesuit posing as a Calvinist.

And all RC apologists say John Calvin was a homosexual who cried on his death bed for the Pope and screamed that all Bibles must be burned so man would only follow the Pope. That was before all the Roman Catholic apologists took poison to meet the spaceship that was traveling behind the comet.