Bowing out of the mainstream Christian blog world...

When I first connected with the Bible and doctrine (such as it was) the main battle line was drawn something like this: "Over there is churchianity; but right here is the Word of God (pointing to an open Bible)." And the question: "What does the Word of God say?" Spoken as a rebuke to all things of a churchianity nature. The doctrine itself that was taught was not totally unorthodox, but the teaching incorporated much that is of what I call a 'mesoteric' level (which, if you don't know, is the swampy divide between true exoteric and true esoteric). In the mesoteric realm you will find the various extra-biblical (but also not-so-extra-biblical) doctrine such as identity of certain lost tribes, Satan fathering a line with Eve, the whole Adamite/pre-adamite thing, and more. The mainstream part of the theology was dispensational and generally fuzzy, but with a strong emphasis on a doctrine of election B. B. Warfield wouldn't recognize. Enough of that. The main virtue of this teaching ministry (I'll call it that) is it read the actual Word of God word for word and didn't care if it bored its audience to death (no, not the guy who smoked cigars and wore a hat). So one got a good dose of actual Scripture. That was - and is - its main virtue. That is basically what it does. After learning what they were offering I strolled away (they're not at all cultish either, another virtue; in fact they kind of don't mind if you stroll away because they have more students than they can probably deal with most of the time). It's a successful Bible teaching operation. Give them that.

So then I went back to my main pursuit which was what most all Christians would label cultish. But I'd been 'hooked', by the Word and the Spirit. Still, I went back to what I'll called the pure esoteric teaching and learned and DID that fairly thoroughly. This was on top of a life development that had me involved in everything under the sun regarding influences and activities. Yet I didn't have ONE specific area of study down. A big one. Mainstream, orthodox theology. So I 'went back' and started to 'get the measure' of theology in general.

The reason I zeroed in on Calvinism (almost immediately, but I'd had ALOT of background in all Christian traditions) was (a) because at that point I knew the Bible (my hardcore, unorthodox, intro gave me that, a high valuation and motivation to read the Bible complete several times), and (b) I knew the pure esoteric level of the faith, and Calvinism elucidates it at the foundational, biblical level (unknown to Calvinists and Calvin himself, no doubt...but sometimes I wonder about 'ol Calvin, with his Renaissance education...here and there in his Institutes one can see traces of the higher teaching and get a sense Calvin was intentionally 'not going there' yet perhaps knew of 'there' to some degree; Witsius is similar, but I digress). Because the foundation of the pure esoteric teaching of the faith is the Bible itself. I immediately recognized that the Reformed, Calvinist theologians could be exploited (as in mined) because their main virtue was to say what the Bible says, come hell or high water, uncompromised and unnegotiated down to the demands of man's vanity, worldly pride, and self-will. They spoke the hard truths and made no excuses for God and God's Word. That is valuable once you've crossed the divide where you don't care what man thinks or demands, and also once you've climbed to the summit of influences and are used to the hardcore level and the hard truths and the separation it causes between you and the world, and it's no big deal because you've been beaten down to a bloody pulp and you've managed to arrive at the summit nevertheless and Heil Hitler to all you goats and so on... (That's not pro-nazism, that's a little bit of Clockwork Orange attitude thrown in for humor.)

So it's at that point that I strolled into what, for me, is a very strange place: mainstream Christianity. On the internet that is. I had all this Calvinist theology and understanding, yet obviously I was - am - no Calvinist any mainstream Calvinist ever meets or can 'suffer'. (A side note: when I'm in 'esoteric' environments (I'll put it that way) and I talk about how Calvinism corresponds with this and that teaching that the 'esoteric' types know of I often get interest, because even people who most find Calvinism to be odious nevertheless sense a power somewhere in it. But it never really goes very far from there, because the divide is regeneration and without that of course nobody's interested in what the Bible has to say at, really, most any level. At least not at a serious level like Calvinism.)

[In that above side note I was referring to people I'd meet in very liberal, 'new age', type environments, and not to any of the people who read this blog who know me from TGOOTB and other locales.]

So what I was doing 'here' in mainstream Christian blog/forum land was engaging in the typical internet activity of learning in the midst of having heated exchanges. And also getting the measure of a people I have really almost zero contact with in real life.

I did this on various atheist sites and forums, and various evolutionist sites and forums, and on various liberal Christian sites and forums, and then I got drawn into debates on things like New Perspective on Paul and Federal Vision and found myself in this general neighborhood where bloggers like Phil Johnson and James White, and their foes all kind of reside. Then for some reason I camped out here.

So, you see, I can't really say I'm a Reformed Christian. I'm not that. I don't even cotton to confessional types at all, no matter how on-the-mark and cool as a concise work of literature the confession in question is. Confessions are for people who are static in the faith. Because the Bible is living language and the Spirit is not in a confession. (And this shows in areas such as ecclesiology and sacraments, which is enough to make my point. I'm not saying the foundation of the faith, i.e. apostolic, biblical doctrine, changes or can change.)

I can, though, say I'm a Calvinist, because one doesn't have to agree with Calvin 100% to be a Calvinist. I think Calvin elucidated in a bold and profound way the real warrior ethic and Spiritual doctrine of the Way. He just did. He consolidated it. His school was a powerful, world-changing school. And it was because it was on-the-mark biblical doctrine, pure and simple.

Yet I see it all from the perspective of what is really 'order' Christianity and not 'church' Christianity. I see it all from a truly practical, doing perspective. (For anybody who has read this far I'll tell you I'm writing this to 'come clean', not to spill "me, me, me" on a computer screen. I'm bowing out, and I just want to leave an impression of where I came from. It is also a good thing to know there are people like myself around who see more in the Doctrines of Grace than what seminary types see in them, and that there IS more to see in them.)

Regeneration is the main thing. Getting the Word of God into your heart, truly, is the main thing after that. Having a connection with the Savior and being in the Kingdom of God is the main thing overall. There are two kingdoms: the Kingdom of God and the Kingdom of Satan. If you're not in the one you are in the other. No in-between, no exceptions, no opting out for philosophical reasons or differences.

So, anyway, to conclude: getting into all this heated judging of people solely by their current understanding (or non-understanding) of biblical doctrine (or their valuation of biblical doctrine) is really way off-the-mark for me. I got pulled into that because it's a temptation and an indulgence and I succumbed. Partly from the vain high of knowing things or understanding things or seeing things other can't currently see and telling them that, and also partly from just wanting to bully people. (But there IS also an element of defending the faith against the snakes out there, in the camp and outside the camp.) But the main thing is it's not practical to bully people like that at this exoteric level. It's more practical and of more usefulness to do it at the esoteric level (it's actually more needed at the esoteric level), but not at this mainstream, exoteric level. The reason is simply that one needs the Spirit of Truth in one to even be ABLE to see the truth. So, practically speaking, really all you can do is tell people to read the Word of God complete. Just do it. (Obviously that has been my main thing.) By the way: in the Faith 'practical' is a synonym for 'esoteric'. Esoteric simply means the practically-instructive, ground level doing of the faith. The teaching exists. You have to connect with it on your own, but it exists to be connected with. It's not for everyone, but it's available to anyone. [I end this scattered, fragmented whatever-it-is here. I didn't say much, but I said some things.]