A good illustration for a difficult subject

Here is a post from a blog that gets at something regarding sanctification and effort that is what makes the subject so difficult.

Before you go there I can paste the main point of what I'm getting at (RAD stands for Reactive Attachment Disorder):

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RAD and the Christian

"The goal of therapy for a RAD child is not to reduce his anger or to change his behaviors. The ultimate goal is to attach or bond the child to his parents. When your child becomes bonded, changes will take place spontaneously. Changes in emotions, behaviors, attitudes, and thinking will happen automatically." © Walter D. Buenning, Ph.D.

Where I work, I read files with this diagnosis in them every day. What struck me about this quote though, is how easy it is for me to accept the truth of this guy’s assertion when we’re talking about a psychological problem, but yet how hard it is to accept the same thing in my spiritual life. To show what I mean, here’s the same quote with some word-substitutions;

"The goal of the Gospel for a sinner is not to reduce his anger or to change his behaviors. The ultimate goal is to attach or bond the sinner to Christ. When you become bonded, changes will take place spontaneously. Changes in emotions, behaviors, attitudes, and thinking will happen automatically."

My apologies to the good doctor. I did this to show what’s so different and radical about Christianity...
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She goes on. My main point is this: this is what most of the most hardcore (Reformed, Calvinist) Christians believe regarding spiritual development vis-a-vis effort. I.e. no effort necessary, just bond with Christ and it all happens automatically. But you can see holes in it all over the place, even while at the same time you can agree with it. It's not either/or. What they're doing and thinking is rare indeed. They are really adopting a Real Will (i.e. God's will as opposed to self-will) approach, but without understanding it that way. But at least they are on to the on-the-mark approach. The Bible communicates this subtle approach. But the Bible also says you have to actually struggle and do things. And the main point they miss is this: once regenerate a person is ABLE to make effective efforts. And this 'bonding with Christ' is really being able to have His Spirit - the Spirit of Christ, i.e. the Holy Spirit - in you without grieving it. Without highjacking it to indulge all the features of the Old Man. The flesh (the Old Man) wars with the Spirit. This struggle is necessary and requires knowledge and effort and development and all the rest of it.