New Critical Text bible product on the way!

New updated bible product about to be unleashed by critical text scholars on their sheep the world over. "Can you feel the excitement?" project leader Nina Gerson exclaimed to a jubilant gathering at the Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Bible Translation Society where being president is her day job. She calls the request from the New International [Per]Version translation committee to be their project head, "A glorious example of how we can present God's intentions to people when we lose our fear of making God equal and just in a new world."

"The feeling around here is overwhelming," an excited Danny Moo, critical text scholar on the new bible product translation team beamed. "I was just saying to my colleagues it's like the first time I got caught masturbating in public. It's a rush."

Dr. Stanton Johnson, Professor of Biblical Ethics at Westminster Seminary California, gave an address to the new team of translators. "It was an honor. My main intent was to attempt to get them to be historical and not allow past connections having to do with a so-called English Bible...Tyndale, Geneva, the so-called Authorized Version translators, shackle them into any staid, unproductive, un-Godly narrow paths. Their's is the future. Is that grammatically correct? I'd better be careful around here with all these eminent scholars!"

Look for the new bible product to appear sometime in 2011. The translation committee also plans to produce a new dictionary explaining how they are using words and phrases for the new bible product. "The new dictionary will just be a good back-up for doubters who are less able to accept new meanings for old words," Ms. Gerson explained.