Christianity doesn't even start until you know you are a sinner

Christianity doesn't even start until you know you are a sinner.

Let's rephrase that in a way that doesn't protect our vanity...

Christianity doesn't even start until you know you are a pathetic, shameful, cowardly, zero self-aware, excrement-smeared monkey flashing his ass on the freeway.

And a sinner in all the ways we are sinners.

Yes, if you call yourself a Christian and you *still* have a rather *cool* self-image of yourself...guess what? It hasn't even begun for you.

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Let's keep up with the theme of flashing one's ass on the freeway...

Have you ever masturbated in public, Christian?

Answer: yes you have. You just don't remember. And if you do remember you are hiding behind the fact that you didn't *get caught.* Unlike the shameful losers who masturbate in public *and get caught.* Compared to those sad losers you are godlike, right, Christian? Of course you are.

Now, if you compare yourself to God and not to other public masturbators - which is what you're suppose to do *as a Christian* - you don't look so good, do you, Christian? No, you don't.

You're walking around proud that you havn't been caught masturbating in public. Think about that. You've got your pride in tact. You can grin and backslap in the company of the chosen few (who, uh, grin and backslap in your, uh, company) and know *you are good... and special...*

Only, you're a public masturbator.

But you've blacked it out.

Or you are invested in the difference that you didn't get caught.

No, Christianity hasn't even begun for you.

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Why did I choose public masturbation for the example in this post? It's pretty much the most pathetic thing I could think of. Think about it. Even the worst crimes involve at least two people. And the world says: Wherever there are at least two people doing something, it is at least cool for that reason. So, by that standard I couldn't even use child molestation as an example. But anyway most people have never molested a child. Needed something common. Anyway, I love how human beings talk about sex, or don't talk about it, as if it is sooo beneath them and their dignity and adulthood...usually just after they've been in full monkey ass sexual activity mode. Hey, if you're going to pretend to be above it, be celibate, stud. (Now do I think people should go around talking about sex? No, no more than they should go around talking about the last time they sat on a toilet. Just don't act like you're above it, when you're not. It's part of your lack of self-awareness. You're a public masturbator, for crying out loud. Take that self-image into your church next Sunday. Seriously. See how it changes you. Seriously.)