Thought, after sickness...

[an old post from another blog, as are the three others below this]

After awhile, once you get to the core of orthodox
Christianity, you see it really is rather esoteric in
nature. A 3 in 1, 1 in 3 God; a new birth experience
that has catch-22s all over it (I didn't do it, God
does it; yet part of God doing it is me moving in that
direction in all the various ways that happens, etc.);
a new birth experience that requires an inner
reorientation from self-will to real will, going from
acting bottom-up to acting top-down, and how that is
not 'effort' yet it is effort of a kind, etc., etc.

The big panorama behind it all can be acquired from
the theologians. The covenant theologians. Federal
theology. The covenant of redemption and works and
grace. The four states of man. The fall and
reconnection by faith and return, etc. 

But the teaching of Christ itself having to do with
sanctification, or development gets lost. The
theologians are not as adept on that subject. You
have to get that from the Spirit. And language
inspired by the Spirit.

But it can all become dead quickly if you stay within
the mainstream and allow the mainstream to stifle your
development. You have to be light on your feet with
anything to do with the Spirit and spiritual
development. 

And you have to continually go to the Source, the Word
of God, and actually find for yourself what is in
there and put it together. Continually. 

Prayer is an art. If you pray for things, worldly
things, that make your life smooth and comfortable or
that goes against God's will you'll probably be
disappointed in some way. If you pray for things that
have room for maneuvering in realms of higher laws the
art of prayer then becomes more interesting. 

When everybody around me was getting sick with a
vicious virus I prayed to be protected from it. Then
I stuck myself with an infected needle (giving an
elderly person an insulin shot, something I'd never
done before, then carrying the used needle and lancet
- that's used to test blood sugar - I got careless and
pricked my finger; within half a day I had a full dose
of the norovirus). So I did it, God didn't. But
sickness is something we learn from anyway. 
Potentially. A restart. Mentally as well. 

But once you have the big background panoramic picture
that the Bible and biblical doctrine presents, then
just like all the mystics you have to find what it is
you have to hold on to and practice and live by. It's
there in the Bible, and in a language like the Work. 
It's not one thing, most likely, for everybody, but to
find what you need does take effort and valuation and
constant staying on it.